Tribute

i'm sitting here after 2 days of thought.. how fragile life is. whether it's a sittuation or a cause it does happen.. but i could definitely have done something about it.. 15-5-03 to 12-10-07 they always say an owner noes his pet best.. n in this last few weeks of her's all she wanted was for me to spend time with her. her last moments as i sensed were really happy i held on untill i felt life leave her body. i wonder if you've been in such a situation before but i fet her get light. in a sense that something important something has left. in the middle of my garden now lies an empty cage. the flowers are wilting around the cage n my plants seem to feel a lost as well. their leaves r drooping in such a sad way i wonder if they sensed the lost of an important presence too. when i come home now emptiness greets me. i dun't hear the once cheerfull chirpy sound. she was who i turned to in troubles . when i had a quarrell in the family or felt really bored or just lost my meaning in life., i would stroke her delicate body.. she brought me peace and a sense of security.. i was watching movies on the com n when i went out to check her. she was already flopped on the cage bottom.. lifeless not moving. i thought she was dead but as i picked her up she turned her head n looked at me. my keyboard is now wet with tears. tears of anger and sadness n this grief that nobody understands.. i cradled her to tree in laid her on the grass.. as her grave neared completion she looked at me and 5 seconds later left me. i know i have not been a very good master. i could feel her gratitude towards me. though mature and an adult i felt her lifespan could have been prolonged should i have brought her to a vet. it's useless blaming myslef now even though i do. she has left me forever. nothing else can take her place. unstopable tears run down my face now. i feel so sad. can you help me.? shannon told me that everything comes n goes. i feel comforted. but i just break down again when yet another flood of memories come back to me. little parrot is resting now. i realise how much i have been neglecting her.. there r no recent pictures of her . it always seemed to me that it was not only fishes in the fish tank that died. parrots dogs.. they get sick too. i m fast breaking down.. see me on the outside n i ook okay but deep down i'm really hurt.. help me someone. there r more i want to say but it's just too pain full for me to go on. i'll stop here. rest in peace my little parrot 'peter'.